Annabelle
Scary sewing machines, no really.

The third film in Warner Brother’s Conjuring universe focuses on the Annabelle doll first seen in the original Conjuring film. One cannot deny the Annabelle doll had a creepy presence in that film, especially the scene where was sat in a chair and her head slowly moved. Pediophobia is a relatively common so if you’ve going to include a weird looking doll with an uncomfortable stare in your movie then you’re already onto confirmed success, right? Not quite.
The film focuses on John (Ward Horton) and his heavily pregnant wife Mia (Annabelle Wallis) who live in a neighbourhood where people do not lock their doors and everybody goes to church. Mia collects dolls and, after upsetting his wife with a comment he clearly hadn’t thought through, he gifts her the Annabelle doll because Mia had been searching for it to add to her collection. One night, two members of a satanic cult break in their house and attack Mia. Thankfully, Mia and baby suffer only a modicum of stress, however her attackers were not so lucky. Once is shot by the police and the other slits her own throat whilst hold the Annabelle doll. From then on, strange things begin to happen around the home.

The doll is a genius design. It’s tatty, has a grey complexion and a terrifyingly absent stare and when you see it rocking in a creaking rocking chair, there is a sense of wariness, a feeling of dread. Sadly, this early promise is not built on and we soon lapse into ideas that seemed to be handed down from The Conjuring 2 because they weren’t good enough.
How scary can a sewing machine be? How much foreboding can popcorn produce? On top of these terrible ideas we get the usual flickering television, record players somehow coming back on, whispers, creaks and scary child drawings. Add lots of lingering shots of the doll accompanied by deep drones without anything really happening and you realise you’ve reached half way and nothing has really happened and the story hasn’t really got going.

The reason why the story hasn’t got going by half way because there is very little story. In the second half we’re treated to the usual scary, dark basement, an unnecessary black demon (I’m still unsure as to the point of this demon), a tedious, sceptic husband, bland hallucinations and a priest, because who else are you going to call?
I felt nothing for the characters except one. Mia came across as a bargain bin Sarah Michelle Geller, John seems like the most boring husband anyone could have and the priest did his best to get his religious rhetoric in whenever he could. Only book store owner, Evelyn, seemed interesting but she was terribly underwritten and whose end was just laughable as was the whole finale. I would go as far to say the cast looked bored, especially Mia, probably because they knew it was going to be a clunker.

There were several instances where the usual Haunted House tropes were used and I’ve praised them in the past, I’ve come to the conclusion they’re only as good as the story itself. With Annabelle, you get a boring, unengaging story and the tropes come across as clichés. Get a strong story and these tropes add tension and scares to the overall narrative. Where the narrative is weak and paper thin, you realise a film is unable to survive on clichés alone. Compared to the previous two films in this cinematic universe, Annabelle comes across as a cheap, lazily made cash in that doesn’t have the imagination or the creativity to do the franchise justice. 38/100


For some reason I thought I had already seen this Hammer Horror classic and maybe I had when I was younger but I could not recall the opening scenes suggesting I had not. I recognised imagery from the film thanks to trailers, clips and segments in Iron Maiden videos; perhaps this was the cause of my mistake. My expectations were high when hitting play as some, especially in the British Horror Group I am a member of, herald it as peak Hammer with the great Christopher Lee often siting The Devil Rides Out as his favourite Hammer film. It had a lot to live up to, however, invariably such films fail to deliver due to unmeetable expectations, but Christopher Lee, Devil worship, Charles Gray, directed by the great Terence Fisher…what could go wrong?
First of all, it was lovely to see Christopher Lee starring as the protagonist, not the action type, that was the job of Leon Greene, but as the wise council and voice of reason, no wonder it was Lee’s favourite Hammer film, he got the chance to play a good guy for once.
The film doesn’t hang about, as soon as Leone Green lands his plane and is met by Christopher Lee. He asks about someone called Simon and within a few lines of dialogue we’re at Simon’s new house because they’re worried about him and hadn’t seen him for at least three months. My first thought was he’d met a girl or taken a new job but it turns out he’s having a dinner party and hob nobbing with a group of new friends from an astronomical society. Of course, Christopher Lee suspects they’re all devil worshippers ready to sacrifice chickens. For me, it was a stretch for him to conclude this within the first nine minutes of the film and I wish more time was given for his suspicions to embed. A general decline in Simon’s behaviour perhaps or more clues gathered to Simon’s new ‘hobby’, it all happened a little too quickly, especially as Simon’s behaviour is quite pleasant and not sinister at all. Simon’s bought a new house, I’ve not seen him in three months that means he’s dealing in black magic. Simon insists Greene and Lee leave (this would make more than thirteen at the party and thus unable to perform the ritual) but Lee punches Simon’s lights out instead before kidnapping him and slugging the butler at the same time, it was all a little clunky for me.







